Friday, December 31, 2010

Running-Related New Year's Resolutions

So, because I'm just SO unique and NO other bloggers are doing it, I decided to make a new year's resolution post... that only includes running-related resolutions of course!  So without further adeu, behold... Luke's running-related new years resolutions (listed in order of importance).

1. Come Track season in the Spring, there WILL be 30 less seconds on my mile time in relation to last year's PR.
Yes, you read that right.  30 seconds, mofo's.  Allow me to explain: my 5k PR from the 2009 XC season (when I started running) was 21:19.  This year (2010 season) it was 19:28.  That's about a 9% time removal.  Yes, I actually did the math to find that number.  You don't need to tell me about the incredulous extent to which I am awesome, I'm already very aware.

So, let's just ass-u-me that this 9% performance increase will magically transfer itself in its entirety to my mile time.  I mean, that should totally work right?  The different speed that a 16 is run at obviously shouldn't make a difference.  Alright, cool, now that we see eye-to-eye on that matter lets do some math-ification!  My personal record on the 1600 from last year's Track season was 5:30.95.  9% of that would amount to 29.7 seconds.  But I'm an ambitious motherfucker, so lets round that up to 30 seconds.  And there you have it - the exceedingly logical reasoning behind my 1st resolution!

2. I'm going to force myself to buy new running shoes.
I hate shopping.  Especially at malls.  Look, I don't have a vagina, okay?  I'm genetically prone to hate shopping.  It's not my fault.  Yes, I could avoid the mall and hit up Jock n Jills.  But guess what?  They cost moneys!  Lots and lots of moneys!  So I will be heading to Sports Authority and getting some new Asics.  My old (current) ones have an astronomical amount of miles in them.  I've had them since July.  Yeah, time for some new ones.

3. I'm going to buy new street shoes so I'm not wearing running shoes everywhere like some cluck.
Like most issues I have, this one stems from my awe-inspiring laziness.  I literally just don't want to have to carry running shoes to school with me.  So I wear them to school, seemingly dodging a bullet, right?  WRONG!  According to Seth Falstein this makes the shoe's sole conform to a different shape, as walking distributes force differently that running does on the shoe.  Which makes total sense.  I'm just a lazy butthole.

So yeah, those are my resolutions.  What are yours?


  1. Well, I'm doing the resolution run after not running for a week, so we'll see what happens.

  2. You'll most likely get tired, cry, then go home and eat a half gallon of ice cream. That's what I did when I tried running the other day. Oh and your ankles might rupture. Just FYI.

  3. lol! this is great, go get that 9%. Btw I wear my old running shoes to school. Not sure if you meant me but yeah

  4. Hahahahaha, Nick you would. Well, we're probably the only two. :)

  5. Good for you, Luke. Good luck with your 2011 goals. I hate shopping for running shoes too. That's one of the reasons why I don't wear any for running. Talk about cheap! Ha!

  6. Hahaha, the true reason behind your barefoot passion is revealed!


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